I have to admit that sometimes I feel a little guilt trip from my husband for not changing my name after we got married because it feels like I’m the only one who haven’t yet. I know I’m not the only one, I’m just saying it’s a feeling. To be honest I never had the intentions of changing my name nor really thought about it. EVER. I didn’t grow up with the notion that it’s something I’m supposed to do after I get married. It’s not something common to do in my culture. I guess I could change my name, but my question is why? I just don’t feel the need to. It’s not because I’m too lazy to go through the process and hassle (at least I can avoid that hassle) or not committed enough in my marriage to do it. Tell me that and I’ll slap you. All my life I’ve had to deal with having an uncommon name growing up. While many people I know growing up in similar situations adopted new names later on in life for ease of pronunciation or for that feeling of belonging and acceptance into society I still stuck with my given name. I couldn’t get myself to be known by another name. It just didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like ME. It took me about twenty years to finally accept and embrace my name. I love that it’s unique to me and that it’s NOT as common. I’m glad I’m not another Sarah or Maria or Lisa. No offense if you’re a Sarah, Maria or Lisa. Plus, I think it’s cool now that wherever I go there’s a high chance that there’s nobody else in the room with the same name. I look at my first and last names as a whole. Changing my name is like changing a part of me. I’m not saying it will change who I am. Changing your name doesn’t change the person, duh. Now that more of my friends are getting married I noticed almost all of them are super excited about changing their names like it’s some sort of great accomplishment to be achieved. Someone please explain that excitement to me because I’ve never understood that. There are many things you get excited about when getting married, but this wasn’t one of them for me. I have nothing against changing your name after marriage. I just want to know people’s reasons and what it means to them outside of it being a long standing tradition.
I love my name, it’s me and I don’t feel the need to change it to signify a new change or journey in life or to prove my love and commitment to my husband. If he truly loves me he wouldn’t expect me to do it and understands my reason. It’s not the end of the world if I don’t. Not to say I didn’t toy with the idea of hyphenating my last name, but if I went along with it it would sound something like Kung Pao chicken. Okay, I added the chicken part, haha. Now that’s ugly and I would not put myself through that for the sake of following traditions. I don’t mind being called or referred to by my husband’s last name, but legally nothing’s changing. At least for now =)
